just like this night it needs the rain

well, it stormed in the afternoon.

fall around me now,

today's training was quite scary thanks to the scorching sun, that threatened to roast my neck. even though it didn't look affected by the sun, my neck felt like it was burning. seriously, it felt like only my neck had been put into an oven at 200 degrees celcius while the rest of me was just warm! this has happened a few times before, and it's always unwelcome. just the memory of the burning sensation makes me unwilling to step out into the sun again!

i'm glad training ended early today though. most likely due to the freakiness of the weather - drizzling while the sun is high in the sky.. not good weather to be outdoors and unsheltered, this is simply the kind of weather one falls sick in! but it's definitely not the time to fall sick. the two words "season, approaching" is always at the back of my mind now. i should do weights on monday before training to make up for slacking off on friday... more reps, moderate weight, to increase strength slightly, stamina, and to tone muscles! will be super fit by the time season is over. on the other hand, it means i will degen after season is over, and everything will become flabby! eww.

haha all the girls were angsting the guys today about them taking the good net and the good net hooks. because, usually we take the good net and lousy hooks and they get the older net and the good hooks. isn't that fair? and they complain we are evil to them, simply because we take the side of the outdoor courts that is more convenient for us to get to the toilet and water cooler! so much for 'shady' court :P the sun was equally evil today! haha just returns. okayy, maybe i'm being unfair because we always take the good net, yet hey! it's easier to set. and we set it ourselves! :) faster now. evil people who suan our net setting. neh, i feel like a complaining whining angsting t00t. shall stop now. hahaa and conclude that vball girls and vball guys have slight disagreements but generally, are fine with each other's existence. complaining time is over :P hahaa actually, quite okay. just feel whiny and longwinded today. i think i complained alot today... which is not good :S because. well, just because, there's no use complaining about such trivial matters when season is on everyone's minds! hahaa i started my complaints at around 0840 this morning.. at least it provided some amusement. lool.

anyway, ngee ann poly friendly on wednesday! guess i'll have to pon SMU. on the other hand, if i pass my assignment to someone to help hand in, i think my attendance will get marked :P shall wait and see.

you come over unannounced.

somedays all we do is watch the sky

aren't you ever sick of rumours that float around? maybe, what you should do is just listen.

anyway, it's been a good few days since i last blogged! haha as i mentioned before, no emo, no blog. usually. but i'm not emo now :P reached home at 10 today after training... tired.

we got our draw for vball season! nyjc ijc jjc and us :) hmm not bad i guess! we shall do our best. fight till we fall because we're the young and we're alrightt. training today was quite insane 3-8, which meant we ended later. i angst the evil school central control system that simply refuses to turn on the floodlights. seriously, they should turn it on at 7! there are tons of people around to use the courts most days... so we ended up doing spiking drills in the dark - spiking 'dead people's heads', i.e. black cloth wrapped old vballs hung over the bball post. it was fun :D training today was quite high! like seriously, we crapped alot and i really enjoyed it. everyone seems alot more focused and quite a few of them are peaking :) it's just the right time as well! alright, raffles for the win!

4 days of training in one week (including tomorrow) adds up to around 18 hours of training weekly. if not, minus 4 hours for 3 training sessions per week. insane? not really, after all season is approaching! i'm apprehensive. shall just continue to try and do my best :) weights for stamina and lean muscles! hahaa

bleargh, i haven't whined about last flight on thurs! stupid cloud at 2200-2300 ft blocked my view! supposed to start PFL descent from 2500'... a mere 300 ft makes a whole WORLD of difference. gosh. well, at least i got my thick ratings book this week... time to start reading it :s all 400 pages of it. hahaa doesn't that sound like fun! but got shown low level and stop & go! gosh stop & go is the COOLio. hahaa that was poseur :P but wdv. i write what i want.

but the highlight of this week was thursday afternoon spent with bel and jonjon, besides the dnco wx flight -.-" it's been a long time since i last just hung out and talked and ate with friends you can talk about anything with :) had fun! really enjoyed it. even though probably got fat from the 2 500 ml tubs, 1 mini alaska and 1 apple pie + ice cream we had. was my first time (and jonjon's lol) everrr at island creamery :P quite a revelationary trip for all of us! pear sake, fresh banana, reversO, very berry. yumzzz. can't believe i got hungry at 8+ after all that dessert though. lol. VERY hungry halfway during tuition... almost felt like a person starving to death.

sometimes all you need is a catalyst to make the reaction occur at a reasonable rate :) otherwise, it may take forever and you might miss each other... sometimes you miss each other anyway... or collide briefly but not enough activation energy.. it's just the rate of effective collision, impossible to reach 100%. and well, friendships are like that :P

w.t.f. sums up my life

work(school).train.fly. well, what did you think?

i'm tired now after two days of trying to stick to my agreement of being a conscientious student. maybe it's just the freaky weather - scorching sunshine one moment, booming thunderstorms the next, that's getting to me. as a 'snake', i have the right to be picky about my environment, after all, i'm supposed to be cold-blooded, unable to survive in extreme temperatures...unless i'm a desert snake. but this is a tropical country, how desert-like can it get? i'm not making any sense. and probably sound whiny (very slightly). but, i am not angsty. far from it! i'm quite motivated actually. just tired. bleargh and dnco-wx last pfl today..

anyway, good song :)

Hands Down
Dashboard Confessional

Breathe in for luck.
Breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race, from self-control.
Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine.
We're doing fine.
We're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

The words are hushed, "let's not get busted."
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey did you get some?"
Man that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear.
So we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember.
Always remember the sound of the stereo.
The dim of the soft lights.
The scent of your hair, that you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock, when we realized "It's so late!"
And this walk that we share together.
The streets were wet, and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it, and let you in.
And you stood at the door, with your hands on my waist.
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew...that you meant it.

practice forced landing

it feels rather good to have a 'break' from the hectic schedules of school and tests. i guess i like this brief respite after common tests :) even though i have to take gp paper tmr lol.

flew PFL today with dwitt for the first time, quite an experience :) he's nice. and i actually think my landings improved after flying with b ald ev and wongcc! they give you really good tips. i just need to continue improving every sortie instead of dropping my standards. solo PFL once, but ended up too low because i maintained speed >75kts and forgot to correct it in time, resulting in super high sink rate :x so had to go around... rah. wasted!! :( but got in one glide touch-and-go and normal landing was...passable :x seriously need to improve especially, zomg i forgot to call dwind(fullstop) again! how can.. but it was quite a good flight :) i'm glad. FHT seems to be looming overhead...i expire on 09/08 (doesn't expire sound like we're food that can go bad. ) reminds self to go and file in results on tues flight -.-" forgot again. i hope i pass fht :x hock is nicely scary.

but the good and the bad are inseparable. well, it's like, how can you have light without the dark? how can you be happy without experiencing sadness? how can you be philosophical when you've never been mundane. actually the last thing didn't make sense. strike it out. my left wrist is seriously in pain... especially since you use it to pull and hold the control column while trimming or adjusting power with right hand... so it's like my right hand recovered while my left started to die... :s luckily i'm right handed. need to take care of the wrists, super weak -.-" i'm annoyed at my wrists. oh, and whenever i try to rub counterpain muscle rub in, the thing cracks/creaks... isn't that only supposed to happen when you're old??

my eyes are tired. and gosh, i just realised i implied that CTs were a break in the previous post! hahaa i guess that means i'm looking on the bright side of stuff again :) tests are angst-inducing, even in the most angst-resistant species. hahaa~ oh yeah did 1000 skips and 100 wall pushups as punishment instead, i decided 500 pushups was not as useful lol. but doesn't seem enough, i think i shall do some crunches later as well.

side note: Tank is <3. and the fei ni mo shu mv is really cute! :D

my new slippers*hearts*

training was good :) i think the 1 week break gave us time to recover from minor injuries accumulated over weeks of non-stop, intensive-ish training. haha my right wrist! it was stronger today. unfortunately, i killed my left wrist and arm attempting (and failing) to save a ball from dropping to the floor. i dropped like a stone instead -.-" on the other hand i haven't spiked this well in ages! happiness~ i think it's always been my timing - i have to spike the ball in front of me! remember remember! but that makes sense since you have to see the ball to hit it, and your eyes are in front of your head so the ball has to be in front of you for you to whack it down nicely. conversely, service has to be slightly further back because by laws of physics, you need the trajectory to be higher. hmm. i need to learn how to do consistent serves that go straight.

friendly with yj was a useful experience to play a defensive team. we won 3-1 :) not bad and i got to play center and outside spikers today oO like woahh. first time for everything i guess. just like this time i managed to serve our match point into the net... super lucky that we had a 10-odd point lead :x i owe myself 500 pushups and need to go running to improve stamina and lose weight!

things to improve on:
receiving to center position
learning to roll! okay this is not really important... hahaa
serving. consistently.
consistency of spiking, i.e. timing
blocking and retreating to defensive position

hmm... but felt kind of traitrous and slightly abandoned today because i played for the seniors+mrtan team against the rest of "us" after friendly for training... not a good feeling when you have to perform and when you don't really want to because what's at stake is 1.2km per set if they don't get a stipulated amount of points. trying to and trying not to play well is tiring. more tiring than just focusing on what you have to do... oh well, i think the seniors gave chances :P they are quite good actors/actresses i must admit! lol :) so they lost everything and got the stipulated amount of points for only one set :\ ahhh at least coach let us off without PT... must jump higher higher, because the actual net height is lower lower than the one we set, so if jump higher can spike nicer! hahaa :D

overall, this day (or rather yesterday) has been generally good, if you asked me to describe the trend :P how economics. ripping the coverings off magazines is rather therapeutic and reading them is interesting, and very informative. suddenly, i feel in touch with the global situation again.. lol :s i think we all live in very very small worlds and rarely feel the importance of how other countries will affect us, despite living in this globalised age. talk about the increasing trend of myopia in the world! clearing the stack of The Economist and TIME magazines that i have backlogged since January feels good too~ hahaa. and i took a nap! how long it has been since that has happened <3 naps are good. according to one of those mags i just read, Richard Buckminster Fuller advocated taking 30 minute naps every 6 hours but was unable to do so because it clashed with other people's sleeping habits. rofl. Can't remember the other famous people who took naps... hmm. churchill? i'm lazy to search and it's 1am! singlish is vernacular to singapore, as chatlanguage is to msn :P

i have PFL flight today! shall sleep :D

goodnight world. it's been a nice day~

oh the pain

ah crap. talk about bad days and bad times. i just banged my head against the underside of the table trying to pick up a lousy pencil that rolled onto the floor. but that was the least of the unhappy happenings that occurred today. seriously, chemistry kills everything else. so much for testing what we learnt this year, i.e. physical chem. almost the entire paper was organic chem! failure is inevitable.

the chemistry paper was so depressing that i felt squashed after it.

angsted alot about why i should just not study for physics since my grades will look really ugly despite all. oh well, seems like i haven't actually given up hope. yes, i'm studying. hooray :) but i can't believe the difficulty of the chemistry paper! i was depressed halfway through section C, so much so that my brain just blanked out and gave up on me. just great :( and now that knock to the head has lost me a few billion braincells.

we will survive has become an overused phrase. survival seems to carry positive connotations. i assure you though, survival seems really, really quite bleak now. oh, and a reminder to myself and everyone else: please refrain from swearing. it offends delicate sensibilities..

we just want more and more and more until it's all we can afford

i guess i'll let you know when i figure it out. i don't mind a few mysteries, they can stay that way. that's fine by me. except when they concern my future, i.e. math grades. then all the greek-like symbols need to make sense. except that they don't when you sleep at 3+ am in the morning and wake at 10+am. so i've learnt my lesson again. why do i keep making the same mistakes!

i just need to wake up and i need to see the daylight once more. all this mugging is bad for health, especially since i need to eat to keep awake to study! it's a vicious cycle. must go on intensive diet and exercise program once common tests are over.

need earphones. i've decided to keep and use the mp4 player. it's quite pretty and shiny and silver and small and thing for a 2gb thing =) except the ear phones hurt and i resolve not to get into the bad habit of listening to it all the time, and to listen to it at super loud volumes. need good hearing to be a pilot!

hmm. need is a fascinating concept. and i think i had a point but i just got distracted.

nocturnal

okay, i'm amused to be up till 3am again. i'm seriously turning nocturnal or maybe i've just eaten too much, so got enough energy to last.

oh well, i've given up on P&C though. tried almost everything else for the other chapters. i hope it's enough!

goodnight. or should i say, good morning? =P

we're losing interest

To keep our eyes open for just one more day
To keep on hoping that we'll stumble on a way
To keep our minds open for just one more day
Cause its completely up to us
To maintain consciousness

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Experimented on improving the study environment at home. After making casual comparisons with the school conditions, i realised that my downfall has been (a) chair, (b) state of space available on the table! haha, so i moved the dining table chair (which is non-cushioned, non-roller and quite hard :x) to the study and cast my comfy chair aside. In school, the chairs are designed to make you not fall asleep comfortably so i have to use a non-comfy chair in order to feel like studying and concentrating! The words aren't flowing because i'm thinking more in terms of numbers and vectors and 'z's now. 'z' refers to complex numbers okay, i'm not sleepy.

nevermind, can't give up despite extenuating circumstances, will perservere.

so i shifted everything to one side of the table to make a clear space to mug since in school, the tables are always empty. i mean, you don't see school tables with desk lamps, file holders and whatnot on them right. and it's worked quite well! :) i'm content.

Actually, i dozed off on the sofa after reaching home quite late and watching Supernatural. quite sad, that i couldn't enjoy the show properly because the sofa was so soft, and the plushies and cushions so nice to lean against that i kept feeling like falling asleep. fortunately, i don't feel so dopey now. must be due to 3 rochers in an equivalent number of hours and other random snacks in between.

Break's over! Back to the 'z's.

calculated risk

phew. completed h3 homework but this week's was considerably less than the last so i'm feeling less satisfied. not that i'm complaining muchly =P i realised that for the past few days i've used more rofl than usual. shall stop since i really don't roll around on the floor laughing! rofl.

taking a break from not having done any mugging for CTs despite telling people that i'm going to read through physics tutorials. being online is bad, hence the decision to be off to study outside tomorrow! =) i hope i am productive. okay, after reading some pink blog, i change my sentence to i hope and i will do my best to be productive. hopefully that's enough. lol.

spotted too narrowly for econs ct today so i could only do a quarter of the essay. since it's like 2C1, that means i could only do half of one question. i think i ph41L. because, don't you think 'ph41L' is so much cooler than fail? haha l33t ftw. i'm geeky, (slightly.) so sue me.

went to watch rgjuniors at yck :( they got a super bad draw and lost against mg. oh the waterworks :'( made me feel sad too. bleargh there's always hope. they've trained super hard.

oh well, add fuel everyone.

p.s. i want to flyyyy :x

and you calm the raging seas

Alright! I'm awake and clocked in 8 hours of sleep =D However, i think my body clock is screwed up because it feels like 8-9am in the morning.

Whee, snack supplies are restocked with lovely macau foodstuffs and chocolate and jellybeans! and i'm the proud owner of some weird china no-brand mp4 player. the phrase beggars can't be choosers would apply except that i didn't ask for it. rofl. i like it when my mom goes shopping :) i get a lot of things back, even though i would have been happier shopping with her xP would have gotten less stuff (because i'm really picky) but it's the experience and satisfaction of retail therapy! blame cts for me not being able to go.

ah well :) i'm not complaining.

my eyes are tired >< rawr. mug econs time!

Vois Sur Ton Chemin

And i stared at the clock waiting for the minute to turn to this once more. just look at the time.

in memoriam <3

wake me, i want to see the daylight

OH YEAH. it's 3+ am and i'm feeling awake still. Thanks lots to one BIG BAG of Calbee Hot & Spicy Potato chips, and a bottle of Allswell Starfruit Juice drink. Whee! =) there's still more where those came from.

Have been on the 3rd page of econs notes for the past 15 minutes... blame it on studying in front of the computer and blogsurfing =P heehee. oh add the time spent blogging this so that makes 30 minutes +++.

Today has Not been a productive mugging day =x spent lots of hours stoning, then watched What A Girl Wants on Channel 5 and went to search for some songs i liked while watching it... But i found a new loopable song <333!

Half Life
Duncan Sheik

I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery i am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

wake me, I want to see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again

.

oh dearie me. 35 hours to the first paper of common test 1! fail econs =) and everything else at that!

hahaa i think Hillsongs is really good to study too. All motivational and that. might be weird that a freethinker would like christian songs and even sing to them, but well, life is full of contradictions ;)

it takes too much out of me to pretend.
wake me, i need to see the daylight.
leave behind the half life,
don't you see i'm breaking down?

come on, let's fall in love <3

is love really irrational?
and when will i know that i've found that someone who was meant for me?
do soulmates exist? i sure hope so.
love songs suck and fairy tales aren't true.
yet we all hope for fairy tale happily ever afters =)

someone to have and to hold, who makes your heart skip a beat everytime you see them... i hope he appears! hahaa

i attribute this random frankness to the effect of too much time spent awake, on my brain. censor censor.

did i mention i got new retainers today? <333 i likeeee hahaa they seem less fragile =D

Total awake time: 17.5 h and counting

missing you.

i was bored of mugging before i even started! so i started staring at the shelves in the study - the photos and momentos. realised that i've probably lost my last squash team trophy from B div finals in sec 4... where oh where can it be? but well, things that are meant to be found will be found eventually. now's so not the time :) neither is it the time to be blogging.

anyway, am amused at what i found. rg girls are scary intense, because of the environment we were placed in during our formative secondary school years! (that's so pw) This paragraph came with the rgs ring (it's a tradition) that every rg girl gets after graduating.

Bear the mark of a RGS girl - that is, never be content with the status quo;
always aspire, strive and dare to be active creators of a better age for all.

Filiae Melioris Aevi

i found the underlined phrase particularly striking :P reflections of this day~

going to be up till quite early today :P awake for another 14 hours! maybe i shall blog at 3-4am to commemorate it. hahaa mom's getting back from macau at last and we're going to pick up her from airport <3

still me now though :P rather fond of the pic

me now.

snuffle.

so i felt like taking colorgenics again

TRY 1

You appear to others around you as a person who is simply 'laid back'. From time to time you shelve your ambitions and forgo the desire for prestige and recognition and you are often considered as mentally lazy. You have the ability and you are the first to know this, but you prefer to take things easy and indulge your longing for comfort and security.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a 'trier' and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, 'bounce back'.

Try 2

You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.

You are feeling very disillusioned at this time and you feel that you are being left out of things. You know - or you think you know - what you want, but you seem unable to exert the effort to achieve your objectives. As a consequence, you are feeling left out and neglected. You would like to be afforded greater security and fewer problems.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a 'trier' and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, 'bounce back'.


---------------

Haha, i just felt like taking the test again. and alright, so it seems the last three paragraphs corroborate.


There’s so many questions
I can’t keep on guessing why, guessing why
And I’m wondering why I’m suffering
And I don’t know what to do

I'm looking for answers.

.
.
.
Boing

bad for the team that was good today

what can i say? so much for things getting better. it seems like they will be getting worst first...
played like a crippled cockroach (i can't think of any better description) during friendly today. i'm glad we won both friendlies. and i'm glad we went to play two friendlies as a team because i think winning and having to spend time together increases team interaction hence bonding.

Learning points of the day:
1. my spiking sucks. i spiked 2 out of 2 sets i got into the net so coach had to switch me out.
2. my serving is inconsistent. and i swore 's**t' quite loudly :x for the first time today after keeping to my resolve not to swear for more than a week, when i served into the net. maluation. swearing on court is bad etiquette. no more.
3. my throat dies after cheering for one day. but morale boosting is fun.
4. you have 2 chances to serve the ball. so use them wisely.
5. i need to warm up properly before playing anything. i.e. run 1.2km before playing because the last time we did that i played better than today.
6. soya bean ice cream is super yummy (and healthy). but actually i already knew that.
7. you can never find milo freez when you want it.
8. losing hope and giving up are the worst things that can happen. so don't. unless they are n00b things, then try and give up as soon as possible, overcome the odds. there seems to be some inverse relationship though - the n00ber things are, the harder they are to get rid off.

anyway, hurray for mondays. the skies are blue and so am i.

commencing PFL, will i land safe?

a sudden longing to go to the edge of ecp (where i was posted during triathlon cip) on a sunny day with blue skies and fluffy clouds, and just lie on the stone bar watching the planes fly by overhead. peace.

waste of my time

i resolve to stay away from angst-inducing objects, animate or inanimate. because. it takes awhile for me to get out of any funk i get into. so much for self control and smooth sailing. more like the calm before the storm.

weather's been humid lately. that may affect my mood too but at least i've completed my 30th. 20 more to go and i Am looking forward to getting my wings.

fix me

Fix You
Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you loose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

-----

Heard this song over the radio today. and remembered how nice it was so i dug around and ended up listening to S Club 7 cd as well. hahaa... oh primary 6, the last time we sat for a huge exam, i.e. PSLE.

like everyone says, this year is the year to plan for the future and work towards it. 'A's just seems so important. but first things first, common tests to prep for!

i was feeling slightly angsty yesterday but angst is for ants... somehow you can't seem to control your emotions all the time even though you try. sigh.

dependency is bad. flew PFL today... not bad but not good either except my last landing, which was the only one i was proud of today. but i learnt quite alot so that's good.

could it be worse? well, i hope things can only get better!

tiresome, torturous, yet superb

Haven't blogged for awhile, simply because i have nothing to emo about :) which is good.

life's been normal i guess. except that everything's getting more and more intense! and by life now, i mean training, school, and flying. PFL tomorrow, i hope i don't screw up big time :x

took 2 caas papers on friday... i hope they come back looking good, otherwise i'd just get slaughtered, angsted at, and freedom-restricted = bad. to put it lightly. love airports, and going there to take exams is quite fun :D especially the company, not bad~ except had to rush there and back to school.. so didn't really enjoy it as much as i would have had it been a relaxing trip. but there doesn't seem to be time to make one of those soon... oh well.

training. overall as a team, we seem to be making much much progress! which is quite happyfying... except that nearing competition season now, everyone's super scared that someone will get injured, and the proximity of violent spiking guys and random volleyballs rolling around the court when people are playing and jumping is super scary... no one wants to get a sprained ankle at this time. argh but i need to improve more! right wrist is super weak and keeps getting injured trying to receive the ball :S bad. apparently i have to do more wrist weight thingys... but i think practising spiking against the net should be more useful.

got a gentle reminder to study today :) hahaa. i will... i need to!

unluckiest day

you could say that things didn't go well for me today. and that would be an understatement. well, the first half of the day passed uneventfully but the series of unfortunate events that followed left me feeling extremely whiny and annoyed. fortunately, the end of the day turned out to be quite okay :) spending time with a good friend doing stuff somehow helps to make things better.

-----this is going to be a long story. ------

SMU matriculation was. full of ups and downs.
first, i got to meet new people taking a lift from ym to the admin building, where we discovered the uber-coolness of the lifts! you need the pass to press the lift buttons to get to the floors haha~ quite noob and country-bumpkin-esque but oh well, novelty is the key to profit.

that's when things started going wrong. when i signed onto the smu network, it refused to save my edited personal information. some stupid application error box kept popping up, i wasted about 10 minutes trying to figure it out and asking the people there, who were also unable to solve the problem. so we finally tried to sign out and sign in again after awhile of staring at the evil pop up boxes that kept telling me they couldn't save my information... well, lo and behold, my changes had been saved -.- despite the noob popup box. sheesh. what a waste of my time.

next, the card encoding machine had problems. so what usually took about 1 minute to do, became 10 minutes per card encoded. well, technical problems are inevitable so we waited. ym and sl got their cards, being nice people, they decided to wait for me. so we waited and more people came...waited and waited and waited... and the people that came after me got their cards and left! the lady came and told me that there was some problem with my card so i had to wait some more... we almost fused with the chairs we were sitting in la, waited so long! well, we were optimistic still -- we get to press the lift buttons! but we were unable to get into an empty lift to try it out ._. some man got into the lift with us and told us, that our cards had not yet been activated and refused to let us try it. or rather we didn't dare to ignore him and try it out anyway. argh. so they left in ym's car and i walked to city hall under the slight drizzle.

since i thought i was early, i strolled around raffles city for awhile. big mistake which i will further elaborate on later. was wondering whether to eat chippy's but decided against it because today was not a training day, hence cannot spam food :( another 'regret'. well, so i went to take the mrt back to school for j1 orientation. there were 4 minutes before the JE red line train came but alot of people waiting for the train. i was quite aghast at having to squeeze with so many people...but no choice. what happened next stole the light from the rest of the afternoon. "The Jurong East via Woodlands train will be delayed for over an hour due to an accident on the track. We apologise for ..." well. you get the picture. so i got out of city hall and decided. okay, let's take bus but how... so i remembered vaguely that there might be 190 and i can change to 156 to get to school, and made my way to that mrt exit. only to find the exit was jam packed full of people, oh, and what else. did i mention it was pouring buckets outside and the bus stop was 100m distance away? i seriously hate the rain.

i guess i kind of got stressed out and tried asking people how to get there. like wth. i'm sure the day get so lousy for me! wasn't sure what to do then. and kinda felt really lost... but i gathered my wits and decided to go to dhoby ghaut and take 190 like the original plan, since i was absolutely certain there was 190 at dhoby ghaut. the problem was with the trains jammed, i didn't know how to get there! initially decided, okay, let's walk. but a few minutes under open sky convinced me otherwise. and i found myself back at SMU admin building. back where all the trauma began. there i met mc's friend, and obviously, i whined abit :x was really feeling very maligned then. went to all the busstops along the admin buildings and NONE of them went the way i wanted them to! it was like everything was conspiring to bring me down. however, i saw bus number 7 as well as bras basah, my dentist place - and there's nothing like a little familiarity! however, things were really not going my way. since 7 stopping at the busstop on the side of the road i was on was going in the opposite direction to where i wanted to go, i figured, if i crossed the road, i'd get to dhoby ghaut at last. false hope. the other busstop had no bus 7. seriously. i just gave up trying to get there on my own then and there. so i called in the cavalry, i.e. daddy dearest. and i felt like such a loser for not being able to get around on my own. so what if it was pouring buckets. i had fully functional arms and legs. i should have gotten there on my own...

so we finally reached school. j3s were everywhere. and with their bald heads, they looked really menacing standing around in groups staring at the current batches. like gangsters. nvm j1 orientation happened in the amphi. games were quite failure. and captain's ball became free for all, no rules attached, as long as the captain catches the ball in the air = 1 point, scary brawling kind of match. amusing but was quite apprehensive for all the players involved. injuries at this stage would be loser. and seriously. would lose.

went bishan library for my first cip session after that, with yh. hmm, i enjoyed the time spent even though we didn't really talk about normal stuff, rather she showed me around and we discussed proposals for awhile...but i guess it was the easy camaderie that made me feel normal again. to my relief :) and dinner was good too.

------------------ end of long story -----------

well, that's all the whining done for today. and the mrt incident is actually quite scary. apparently some lady fell onto the track but she's alive. they spent about half an hour trying to get her out from under the train. well obviously, the train can't move or she would just die. but severe injuries. :x

next week is going to be killer. 3 tests and caas.

friendly tmr - it's the make it or break it and i need to be raring to go. psyche up!