Horoscope

Your personal ruling planet is Mercury.

If ever anyone had the gift of the gab it is you! You have always had the ability to learn quickly, to think spontaneously and to deal with the situations that life presents to you in a highly original and creative manner. You like to see things from new angles and have a very persuasive way of convincing others of your opinions.

You are always on the go so you'll undergo many journeys and travels in life flitting from one place to the other and relishing the many experiences and people that come your way. You love reading and imagining the possibilities in life.

Creative visualisation is a great tool with which you can enhance your future prospects but take care to balance your moods which at times are subjected to severe swings. Visit my Meditation Room.

Your lucky colour is green.

Your lucky gems are Emerald, Aquamarine or Jade.

Your lucky days of the week Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 5, 14, 23, 32, 41, 50, 59, 68, 77.

Famous people born on your birthday include F.A. Mesmer, Douglas Fairbanks, Rosemary Clooney, Rennie Davis, Frank McHugh, Joan Collins, Drew Carey, Linden Ashby, Maxwell and Jewel Kilcher.

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today was the first cca weights session i've had since. sec 2! i think, that could be considered enjoyable. even though it wasn't really tiring or insaneee~ it's probably the different types of people in the world issue.

I remember we used to do insane numbers of reps and loads on all the cool machines in the small stinky rgs gym. (there was some kind of weird rubbery odour that refused to go away and an ancient, and by ancient i mean it looked like it was made 10+ years ago and wheezed continuously, aircon.) By insane i mean we would put the load to almost max and see if we could push it, and then how many reps we could do using the insane weights, especially for that lower leg lift machine - i have no idea what it's called, but the one where you sit and raise your lower legs to push against something and lift the weights, as well as the push with your legs to lift the weights machine. It was crazy but fun. and it probably stunted my growth. i blame sec 2 weight training for me being so short (compared to what i could probably have been)! and for my bulky muscles which i totally dislike. not to mention, i've probably lost all of the strength that i built up in sec 2-3 now. i'm weak and flabby now.. yucks. so in a sense, loss << gain. rawr. it's always like that.

everything's piling up now. and by everything i mean both CCA and academics! now that's said, i realise it's time to stop blogging and start studying! too many things to study for, best to get as much (or as little) of a headstart as possible. we must always be optimistic :)

read between the lines to find the spaces

What i want to say is usually best left unsaid. Does that mean what i don't say is more important than what i do say? Probably not. It's most probably more intriguing though.

It takes two hands to clap. Similarly, a conversation requires constant input from parties involved hence one party must leave loose threads which can be taken up by the next...etc. etc. As usual, this is a totally random blog post.

What i realised today (though i probably figured it out before, just that it struck with new force or something similar. my analogies are lousy. uncomparable to 'the kids screaming like linkin park' or 'you suck like a vacuum cleaner' or 'i melted like ice cream in the sun'. but back to my minor epiphany) is that - life is bittersweet. - After all the interjections, this feels rather anticlimatic. Unfortunately, life's like that, and to top it all off, so's the truth. What a cherry on top of the ice cream sundae, non? Well, it's like there's some limiting reagent law in place - you have to let go of some things to get other, new things. They may not be better, but they are new... so much for emotional attachments and valuations to objects. Back to chemistry, the rate of reaction almost always ends up decreasing as concentrations of reactants decrease. Unless of course, it's some kind of reversible reaction... In this case, rate of reaction could refer to rate of improvement in any field, or rate of learning. concentrations? probably energy levels... Reversibility could be a result of achievement in those fields as a result of concentration depletion, hence increasing motivation levels and increased energy levels. Self-regeneration is really amazing. Alternatively, after all the withdrawals from the economy, we may need injections by governments, other firms, etc...

It is quite clear that studies are taking over a proportion of my unconscious brain since everything seems to be linking back to the great academia which we, as students, face everyday. The other, more significant part of my brain is screaming at me to stop this nonsensical pressing of keys, which serves as a sort of stress relief, and to indulge in a better method - sleep. I shall oblige.

rainy thursday

i just realised i haven't blogged about cny. aiez. wdv. later.

i wish my gp essay would do itself and stop bugging me.

yes i said i would do it, but that's hard when you feel like you're going to fall sick and die. i bet someone passed me some viral bug. and actually the only line i wanted to post was the second paragraph of this post. so there. a weird goodbye.

take.5

quite a fun day despite getting a feel-like-i'm-falling-sick warmth and semi-sorethroat.

i realise my blackeyed stuffed pig can squeal. wow. the things you never knew until you look or felt beneath the surface.

we participated in interclass frisbee! not bad at all :) despite being more of a bballing class, and having never practiced for frisbee nor played it much nor enjoyed playing it much nor learnt the correct skillz, we were quite good. hmm the highlight of the games was probably meeting our junior class! it was such a coincidence that the match fixture made us face off against each other. Then again, we probably would not have had the opportunity to even see any one of them if not for take.5. our juniors are really cute and nice! i hope they all get into rj, because alot of them come from other schools and they were lamenting about their o level results. i guess i'm really bad with names but much better with faces. If you asked me to name them now, despite only asking for their names today, i can't match names to the faces! but i can definitely recognise them now :D well done organisers, even though it was probably not intentional. hmm then got high cheering with belbel :) according to pengpeng, we would have won best cheerleaders award! came up with a 6S cheer, but it's quite long and needs improving before it can become our official cheer. i like being high xD

i think i probably fell sick from overexposure to sun during soccer. of all the sports, i think soccer is one of my worst, simply because i don't have any basic skills at all! it's probably one of my most watched sports only due to its popularity and frequency of broadcasting over sports channels. then again, liverpool ftw :) you'll never walk alone~ but well, soccer is quite fun! maybe we should play more since everyone says we needs to work on our weakest areas in order to improve. for me, it's writing. i'm still quite angsty over my SAT writing score...

class outing to waffletown at balmoral plaza was not bad (refer to class blog), despite almost getting lost along the way. i had a sudden craving for chicken rice, thanks to the nice gor who pangsehed us even though he was the only one who knew how to get to waffletown. cheers :P then again, he probably went to meet my 'sis-in-law'! hahaa~ suanning people is fun, but only if the gossip is non-malicious and based on truth, especially since gossip is mostly inferences made from facts you know. untrue gossip is just, inethical? on an aside, i just realised that non-malicious is quite hard to accomplish because you never know the exact impact of your actions on others. hence, despite the overall good fun of gossiping, by cba, we should minimise the quantity of it in order to minimize negative externalities. anyway, didn't eat waffles at waffletown, which was quite weird. had their super value meal again, which was not bad but ri canteen's butter rice is much better than waffletown's butter rice. bridged and taiti-ed at waffletown :D yayy that really put me in a cny mood for awhile.

i guess it's quite sad that people in big groups tend to split up into smaller groups, especially when they have different interests but that's just normal :) yup. i think i'm more of a small group person anyway~

went pooling after that :) and bishibashi! which i owned again. i <3 that game, it's just so destressing to whack the red green blue buttons and feel superior to a lousy computer. hmm, i think pool was more memorable for the conversations we had while getting to lucky plaza and during the session. kudos to bel, jon, yonghui, lurong and peng for a great 'end' to this school year! heehee.

truth and dare session revelations are meant to be kept secret. it's an unspoken rule, and even hints are considered transgressions. so, don't play with people who can't do the aforementioned unless you intend to lie...which defeats the purpose of playing in the first place. hence why even initiate something you don't intend to follow through with? i probably just don't like the game since i prefer to keep things to myself until it all spills over... and i can't sponge it back in.

cny shopping was very fruitful. or clothesful :) but quite a waste of time. i should have shopped on the 2nd floor before the 3rd since i ended up getting all my new clothes from a single shop on the 2nd floor after making it through all the other shops in the building. spent alot so no more clothes shopping for a long time! came home and while hanging up the new stuff, realised i have a lot of clothes that i haven't worn before. oopz :P

anyway, it's better to prepare for the worst than find yourself in a situation that you can't handle.

this is a rant.

ARGH. ARGH.zomgwthggxxbbq. -_- i utterly LOATHE my SAT writing scores. zomg i'm suree ><><><>< ARGH.

lol. blogger self censored my rage, and incoherent language/writing skills. becoz of all the weird open close tag thingys that didnt make sense. argh see i'm even blogging in broken english. my mom heard me swear loudly over the phone and ggkilled me. it's time to stop swearing habits that i've gotten into since the past year. zomggggwthbbq. my math and critical reading scores how pretty!!!! i bet they put all the writing sections at the end when i was tired and dead and sianed to kill me la! WHAT AN EVIL CONSPIRACY. ARGH. i need to find an unoffensive swearword. oxymoronic but wdv. i'm not retaking. waste my money. i don't want to go us anymore. this sux bad. and i'm ranting. i'm entitled to incoherence. i stoned at my scores page angsting for how long la. rawr. ggraggeeeeee. i wanna angst at it again la! obsessiveee argh i'm sure so imbaaaa HOW CAN DO THIS TO ME!!!! STUPID VOCABULARY. i shall start memorizing a list of words. i.e. the dictionary. GOSH HOW cANNNN!! RAWRRRRRRZZZZZZ. STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. ARGHHHHH. AHHHHHHH.!!! I'M SELF CENSORING BECOZ I SAID I WOULDN'T SWEAR coz my mom ggkilled me for swearing super loudly just now!! I WANNA FIND A SWEARWORDDDD ARGHGHHHH THAT I CAN USE. BUT WHAT WHAT WHATTTTTT. rawrrrrrrr. SPIKE LA. ZOMGG I'M SURE I USE SPIKE AS A SWEAR WORD. argghhhh how about about abouttt elmo. like ELMO LA. i'm sure. lol. okay i'm really ranting. and incoherent. this doesnt make sense. how about. dictionary your head lorh! lol -.-

contradiction

my mind is mercurial. it goes down one path, then finds some flaw in it, and either (a) turns a full 180 degree and retraces its steps back to go down another path or (b) does a 90 degree and moves in another direction. well, whoever said paths had to be two dimensional.

i concur that tiredness is inevitable. what i mean is that we should get out of the habit of being melancholic or however crappy else we feel when we are tired. then again, tiredness can be physical - like i'm feeling super achy now thanks to the wonderful training yesterday, which should be super productive coz i feel my left arm growing muscles, except that it's the bulky kind that becomes soft if you don't flex it and this is a super long sentence so i shall fullstop here. or tiredness can be mental, which chocolate should alleviate momentarily. until you fix whatever's gone wrong or go to sleep. i like (a) and (c). otoh, tiredness can give you a conking-out-deep-sleep-kinda-best-rest. lol.

i shall do my tutorials and stop crapping.

V for Vanquish

Valentine's day is around the corner. or rather international friendship day, or singles' awareness day, whatever you want to call it. i find it rather weird that a day in commemoration of two male christian martyrs can evolve into such a holiday, but well human nature is a puzzle. honestly speaking, i don't see the point of the day. but that's probably because, i'm not really into such popularised, commercialised holidays with a specific target group instead of generic population. actually, that's a fallacy because, almost everyone can celebrate it, just that in different ways. i'd rather celebrate international friendship day.

Friends serve many purposes. lol, that sounds rather utilitarian but, i know what i mean so i don't really care. well, besides friends being there for you, you have to be there for your friends as well. so even if you're feeling really gross and sian diao, you'll still force yourself to be happy or cheerful, basically not being contagiously depressing or cynical, and affecting everyone else's mood. as a friend, you'll have to consider what the other person wants or needs or thinks before acting. in a sense, this all sounds as though you're putting on a facade, hiding what your real true self. then again, can anyone define their actual selves? sometimes we all seem to be a collection of masks and personalities that are interchangeable to best suit different situations, with an underlying prerequisite of self protection (no matter conscious or unconscious). after all, no one likes getting hurt.

I'd want to have someone to stone with, or just rot with, at any time of any day. in the end, we're all alone but in the meantime, i'd just like to enjoy the company of people who manage to pull me out of my funk, even if they don't know they're doing it. perhaps one day i'll find someone who, if i just lay there, would lie with me and just forget the world. And even if i don't quite know how to say how i feel, they would understand because what we shared would be something more than words. Maybe the lousy valentine's day mood is getting to me. especially since i spent a large portion of my time yesterday before tuition in the canteen, confronting the large glaring pink words on the judo booth shouting "crush anyone?" To which my answer is, no. haha. if i ever liked someone, probably later later, it would probably not be just a passing crush but something hard to get over. because i have faith in my willpower over getting rid of passing likings. then, it would probably be even worse than a crush. bleargh, thinking about the future when i can't even handle the present is such an unrealistic, useless thing to do. Anyway, people should stop bullshitting about stuff that they obviously know is not true, because despite some amusement value, it gets on anyone's nerves if they are repetitive.

because that's noob. and why won't it stop.

Tiredness is proportional to busyness. busyness is self-determined. hence, tiredness is a perspective. and i should get out of the mindset of saying: "i'm tired." instead, i should say: "i'm busy. i chose to be busy. hence i should do my best because this is what i wanted and what i chose in the first place." i'm obviously not for retracing steps and turning back. i think if you've made a choice, you should move on. perhaps you'll decide that the choice was wrong but carry on anyway and make the best of it, choosing a different road in the next branching of the path that will at least lead you away from your starting point. at least you'll have gotten somewhere. actually that doesn't make sense and i'm usually running in circles all the time. Actually, circular motion is quite fun - both spinning and running in a circle coz you can feel the centripetal force acting on you and you tilt towards the centre of the circle.

it's time to change my heart and mind~ so that i can change my perspectives and improve for the better :)

Funk
noun
1.	a state of nervous depression; "he was in a funk"

and you bleed just to know you're alive.

haha i know i'm alive. otherwise i wouldn't feel so sian. after chem spa today, and while waiting for tuition to start, it just hit me like an irrepressible wave. single bar of snickers crunch alleviated it momentarily. and now it's back. don't ask me why i'm sian, i think i'm just tired. i need sleep otherwise will die for flight tomorrow. oh look at the time, somehow i have to fit in 10 hours of sleep between now and tomorrow afternoon. what a challenge.

waiting on the world to change never works. you have to change your perspective. it's just the way to go.

sail away with me

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||| 43% Stability |||||||||||||||| 66% Orderliness |||||||||||||| 56% Accommodation |||||||||| 36% Interdependence |||||||||||||| 56% Intellectual |||||||||||| 50% Mystical |||||||||||| 43% Artistic |||||||||| 36% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56% Materialism |||||||||||| 50% Narcissism |||||| 23% Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43% Work ethic |||||||||||| 50% Self absorbed |||||||||| 36% Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43% Need to dominate |||||||||| 36% Romantic |||||| 30% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50% Wealth |||||||||| 36% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63% Change averse |||||||||||| 43% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Individuality |||||||||| 36% Sexuality |||||||||||| 43% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 63% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical Fitness |||| 17% Histrionic |||||| 30% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 63% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43% Female cliche |||||||||| 36%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Trait Snapshot:
rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful

Disclaimer: Keep in mind, your results are dependent on the accurate truth of your responses. The more you take this test and get the same result, the more likely that is your type. Finally, your scores and type, over the long term, will change as you do.


lol. they contradict. it's funny :P but proves that i'm kinda paranoid! hahaa and overall, quite lousy-ish = i am noob. lol~

on a side note, i'm not a scary cereal monster! economics is a fluke-ish subject. :x don't alienate me because i'll just cryyy like a girl. right. (refer to female cliché score. but reading the description, honestly? ) i wonder what SMU H3 will be like, maybe will meet more interesting people. heehee. but will be skipping training around competition season period... ah well, i'll just train harder during the times i can go for it, and do PT-ish stuff alone :"3

i think i'll fail the physics test we took today. tell me, which idiot memorises the formulas and forgets to learn how to apply them? well, i just need to look into the mirror to see a prime example of noobness and fugliness :D i have low physical self-esteem. so what? rotfl.

flew flex today. and came up with a mnemone for the stuff i need to do in flying and probably applicable in life, based on the sortie today. sigh. CAGE.

Consistency
Attitude
Goals
Energy

right, now to put it to work. so much for time management and no procrastination (useless civics lesson, obviously stressed people eat chocolate and get phatter). just look what i am doing now! hahaa and whoever's blogsurfing is probably procrastinating something much more urgent and important too xP

vindicated. anyway, maybe you're right, and it is time for 'affirmative action'. haha. like take the initiative, as other people are wont to do whilst lazy, insecure noobs hide away and slack and are overall unproductive...but whoever determined the way i wanted this to work out? obviously, this is one of the goals that i need to set. soon. procrastinate stopping procrastinating is kinda fun but useless. snigger. oh, snigger typed in my hp dictionary comes out firstly as soggier. how amusing is that! xD

certainty would be nice

yes it certainly would. but sometimes, ignorance is bliss... i think i've gone through the entire ignorance, knowledge, power, bliss thing but it somehow all makes sense even after so long.

a conundrum. but here's my resolution, i'm letting go and i'll try not to emo... i've learnt alot and well, i think it's time to float along the swimming pool, just diving for my annual goals, and taking everything else easy.

liverpool drew with everton yesterday, annoying. but i restocked ben and jerry's and quite abit of chocolate! so everything will work out (: because, chocolate > everything. yup.

the weather's colder now. i don't really like it because my hands get cold easily =x and i have no idea why. rather annoying.

i wonder why girls find it harder to control their outward expression of emoness, i.e. tears, as compared to guys. well obviously, they are emo as well, but they manage to hide it or hold it back until the appropriate time or place to release it. this is why i don't like being a girl. i wish there was a school or someone who knows the tricks behind guy control or emo control or wdv, and could teach me how to hide behind a facade of "all's well with the world and i'm happy *bright grin*" when i'm feeling super down/stressed/emo more than usual. my capabilities are rather limited at the moment. i can't believe i emoed the scaryfaced-me-but-generally-nice cfi during exam yesterday. argh. i really detest being a Girl, especially when i'm emo, which thankfully is not so often, generally speaking..
oh and i'd like to add that emo outlets rock :) thanks and i'll try harder!

The coming week is going to be quite murderous.
But we'll survive it, because, well...don't we always?

Resolution
Nick Lachey

Nothing but an empty page
Breathing in an open space
Captured by your moment's grace again
There's so much I left behind
Even more that waits in time
Everything's so undefined
I'm standing on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just want to be the best man I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution

Living life without a plan
Finding solace where I stand
And learning how to love again
And all I want is something real
That I can feel

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best man I can be

'Cause here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best man I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution

erasing the indelible pencil marks

I was thinking about how erasers work, and how i wanted to have a life eraser or something, during physics tuition. probably because i was rubbing a whole lot of wrong workings and answers out, so much that there was probably an entire pile of eraser rubbings on the table if i pushed them together.

An eraser rubs out the marks you make on a blank piece or printed sheet of paper so that it's clean again. Yet while trying to remove the mistakes, the eraser wears down until in the end, it's gone. Isn't that rather like life? We try to erase the mistakes we made, while unknowingly removing, using up more and more of ourselves until we're gone. And all that's left is a blank piece of paper, maybe with little holes scattered over the page. Is it worth it then, to try and get rid of all the marks made to return to a blank sheet of paper again, albeit worn and tattered? It's probably better to just file that sheet away, and get a fresh sheet of paper to start over so that you can refer to all the errors you've made before, and try not to let history repeat itself.

people never know how great an impact the little things they do have on you. in the end, self-reliance is probably the most constant but sometimes, you do need people to talk to instead of carrying the burdens alone.

i like intellectual discussions :) and contemplating life issues.

ponned ticketing today. 'oops.' but RT oral exam is more important because it's on saturday! i hope i don't get murdered.