freaky weather

I think I'll never get tired of flying! It's just the wait before being able to get into the plane and take-off that is draining. When you're in the air, the clarity and focus of mind is incredible, not to mention, the high you get after you get off the plane!

Sortie 23 Flapless DCO
Take-off: 1200
Land: 1305
Solo: 1.7h
Dual: 22.9h

At last, after 2 consecutive cancelled flights due to weather, and the threat of lightning risk cat 1 which lasted from 1105-1145, i managed to fly! We had to change plane since oil pressure in 9V-BOK refused to rise after 30s so changed to 9V-BOF (which is a bloody mouthful, i rather say Kilo than Foxtrot anyday, then delayed take-off due to choppers landing, i can't remember what type.. some training things -.- which created heavy buffet while i was waiting for instructor after landing from solo flight. i thought the plane would blow over :S fortunately it didnt. Found out that our Piper Warrior IIs weigh 630kg today :P Flapless circuits rock and my landings improved! :) Looking at the horizon is effective for roundout yayy ^^ Saw lightning bolts when flying with instructor, but luckily ATC didn't call for land :D DCO ftw!

Stupid freak weather scared me :x flash storms on the way to school for training... which was tiring and i had to leave early for tuition while they continued playing :( screwed up formation today, which was, truthfully, super amusing :X and i really need to improve but today's been a HIGH day! haha i'm getting to love volleyball more and more, especially my teammates :) super nice people. and yl bakes lovely yummy stuff >< that i could probably never accomplish. haha ^^" but enjoyable all the same.

I love flying~ I might want to do it all my life x)

Stall 2 didn't open today, which is like how noob, especially because i didn't have ANY coins. What's the point of being stuck in school during a thunderstorm, with an ATM, and vending machines which don't accept notes? Luckily charlu was around with coins and we shared some salmon biscuits thing, otherwise i would have starved from not eating until 9.30pm since breakfast at 10am. Almost 12hours. Shall bring a cam to school one day :P there's something amusing along the way that i NEED to capture on film in case it gets erased. Hopefully there won't be an announcement next year regarding it... >< hahaa silly spontaneous people 41<333

And i want a moment to be real

Finding songs i had that i forgot are so good :)
Want to nap but my hair's wet -.- this always happens. and i haven't done any work, unless plinking on my piano is counted... aarrghhh i'll work after nap. :S
Flight tomorrow, will the weather hold?
Watched eps 1-2 of Full House x) gonna continue tonite yay.

I'm Still Here
Johny Rzenick
Jim's Theme from Treasure Planet

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway…
You don't know me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man..
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
'Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can they say I never change
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
‘Cause I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.

How can anyone know what's real?

clouds

trying to play If You're Gone on the guitar noww :S not very successful yet. rah i shan't waste this day :) but it's fun stoning and slacking at home! w00t and so much less hot. The weather's too good today :P blue skies and cute fluffy clouds. I never thought i would ever call clouds cute and fluffy ever again after joining syfc, but there you have it!

Apparently, I'm a gryffindork -.-

Congratulations on making Gryffindor!

Basically, you're brave, daring, chivalrous, and pretty much.. an all around good person. Of course, some see you as a goodie-two-shoes. But hey, it's true! You're really good at winning, and normally always come out as the hero. Everybody likes you.. except, maybe, the Slytherins. You're too perfect. No, really.. You're too perfect. It's annoying to watch you win, repeatedly. Oh well. Be proud anyway.



Gryffindors to Remember:

Harry Potter
Ron Weasley
The whole Weasley family
Hermione Granger
Albus Dumbledore

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Read someone's blog and yeah, being the only child, i've learnt to love solitude. But that changed quite alot when friends came into the picture, thanks alot... hahaa i'm kidding. I still like being alone and doing stuff alone, but not as much as before. Maybe i need to re-find that love for solitude -- having msn on does not count as being alone... or maybe i've been around people for too long. whatever it is, i want to be more independent once more, like can survive without seeing or communicating with another human being for a few days, i think that has been decreasing slightly. which is bad. or not? i don't even really know now. rahh.

waste away

Second consecutive planned flight cx-wx (cancelled due to weather). Few people in the world have any idea how sian-ed that makes one feel. It's like you go there, all prepped -- which actually you are supposed to be 100% ready all the time since they only tell you that you have flight the day before unless it's a Saturday and you're flying on tuesday, (it's military-like but the club's really RSAF sponsored i'd bet, apparently it used to be called 151 Squadron -.-), wear the really cool flightsuit (apparently i look 'cute' in it, right...but only one non-club person besides my parents has seen me in it so far so i am absolutely assured in my disbelief, zzz) and boots, fill in all the lousy forms (which i remembered to fill in ALL today!), take the crappy solo quiz you have to take every week, get briefed by your instructor, then it gets cancelled :( like wth. today was even worse, i walked out to the hangar and did all the aircraft checks, then had to replace everything because they came out and told us to go back in! Monsoon season is...evil can't begin to describe it. Perhaps i have no fate with 9V-BOE, pronounced "niner victor bravo oscar echo", which is a super cool callsign to say during solo! 2 consec flights planned with it, all cx-wx. rahh. Oh well, going to the club is always a fun experience. Talked to other PPL, notably those from 144 whom i've never really talked to before, they're funny and nice, amusing in short :) and we put cute model planes in the flight briefing rooms!

Made my way back to school in quite a foul mood :( but felt better after lunching out - mac's apple pie is seriously my fav mac's food! Modelled the flightsuit -.- got opinion which is wrong in my more accurate opinion (immao) lol ^^ then lost my handphone in the sports hall toilet. I'm sure you leave it on the bench, walk out to dump stuff, remember that you left it, walk back in to look for it all in a timespan of less than five minutes! and it's GONE ><>< even though getting a new phone would be a good idea, i'd still want to keep my old phone, just in case! and all the numbers that i never backed up :S what a scare.

Reached home quite late after training. tired. shall go off the computer soon :) but i had a nice time walking out with people, which is less scary than walking out alone in the dark. hence i'm glad i took so long to get out of school, and was able to meet a new person, van - friend of a good friend ^^ and get amused by zy shouting mumbledly over the traffic asking if i was playing bball tmr aftnn. see how lorh :P probably not since i've not spent a single full day at home. i resolve to do work! yessss :X hahahaha my phone~ my friends rock :) all of them! w00t that's why they're my friends xD i think i just ignore people i can't be friends with... or forget about them? :"S oops hahaa... i can't really think of anyone i'm NOT friends with, rather have more people i don't know hence are not friends with. :P that's good i think. this last few lines are quite random. but whatever~ like the 'whatever' feel of songs i listen to Xp

earliest yet :)

Woke up at 8.30 despite setting the alarm at 10.30. RAHHH. then i couldn't fall asleep again...not that i was really trying because it's bad to go back to sleep when you've awoken with a clear mind. Hence, lazed around on the bed stoning.

Contemplated what I would be like as an OGL -- stupid screwed up Oteam is taking my bestfriend away :( and realised i would probably be quite an okay OGL, minus the commitment which is one of the most important things. I mean, how can you stand doing something you're not even 20% committed to doing! My personal minimum should be an estimation of about 50% before i'll even start doing that thing... (honestly, that's super low already) i haven't really given 100% unless at the very moment of doing that thing... so i'm glad i didn't sign up to be one! Maybe it's time to put in >100% in everything i do, but that would leave me so tired or accomplished? This is probably just a mindset, a psychological thing i have to overcome! Go somewhere quiet and peaceful soon and sort this out. i should... But how many times have i ever done things i should?

Have no idea why i came online this early but i'm glad i did! ^^ somehow, cg was online and we chatted abit. haven't heard from/seen her in what feels like a long time but was actually a few days - guess i got used to having people around all the time and now they aren't, it feels kinda weird. and i guess i miss alot of things and people - alot of whom will be flying away soon. Wanted to organise a spontaneous stayover but everyone's too busy, unless can stop planes, bash up council, etc... Now i'm hoping it will rain today even though the sky looks too nice and blue to be true :( If flight gets cancelled once more because of the weather, I will accompany the rain in its miserable clamour and expunge saltwater from my system :[ and this time, there won't be a funny friend to tell me amusing stories and conjecture about random stuff with... maybe i'll make new friends lol -.- self-consolation but true.

We never had a dorm outing and now i'm thinking of rg friends and wondering where they are, in that big wide world out there. i have super good timing i think. like yesterday, was trying to call yh to ask if she was free for stayover and apparently i called just when they came back from the airport from cambodia! but she's flying off again on tuesday... shall call her today. i think she's the only person i've really had a longgg talk over the phone with <33 her despite her quirks. fine i <33 all my close girlfriends. At least, i'm going out with clar and ame on tues! :) after howww long. my closestfriends in sec2, who i hung out with all the time, and sorta lost track of ame along the way :( i think i'm a lousy friend like that. initiative's the word of the hols! shan't let laziness triumph... w.r.t. work too :P *snigger*

Re-found a nice song and have it on loop-ish. i think i came on the comp to hear it. i should just get an ipod and not wait for the next gen >< dilemma dilemma

If You're Gone
Matchbox 20

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

Spent quite long finding it >< should have known plan would have it. arrr. it was worth the search anyway :)

180 the edge

i guess it's time for a reflective post.

thankful for this half-day spent with char lu, who invited me to some christian youth group thing :) stoned together at j8, talked, had ice-cream with fries - a temptation i haven't succumbed to for very long then off to yishun and met plan. amusingly, sitting inconspicuously in the middle of some ahpeks and ah bengs along one of those ledges you always find at mrts... i wonder why i always find myself going for christian stuff, despite not being one myself, and never considering conversion since some period of time a while ago (pardon the english) where i found myself wavering in my convictions. possibly due to too much exposure. but i've fixed my beliefs and peer pressure will never lead to self-doubt again.

I'm not against any religion. I believe that we all have the right of choice, the freedom to believe in whatever we want to believe in. Is it possible to judge if one's beliefs are wrong? Perhaps the way one acts upon those beliefs may be damnable, but never the faith itself. Faith is, i feel, awe-inspiring and well, one of the fuels of life. Without faith in whatever you choose to place it in, I doubt we can carry on in life. For me, i guess i trust myself the most - refer to the previous blogpost. I prefer independence, reliance on myself - the one person who is closest to me... Maybe this is twisting it, but conscience is self-induced, even subconsciously.

Today, the youth pastor told us that conscience is one of the warning signs from God. Take that with a pinch of salt, i believe in an omniscient being, but one that is genderless... i've never really understood why God is a He, and not a She, since we differentiate so much between paternal and maternal love, as well as patriarchies and matriarchies. To me, that single being, which i call God for simplicities' sake, would be all-empowering, omnipresent, perhaps the creator, perhaps an intervenor, perhaps loving or non-judgemental, but just a presence that exists for people to place faith in, since everything has a beginning. I don't really think that God is a single being, being omnipresent and all that... It's hard to put what i believe in in words, much less describe it. Suffice to say, I describe myself either as a theist but that's not really it either, so I just fill in forms with "Free-thinker" to save all that trouble.

Theism refers to the belief that God/(s) are immanent in the world, yet transcend it. Along with the idea that God/(s) are omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent.

The main reasons i don't suscribe to christianity would probably be because i support the evolution theory, i don't see the point of Jesus, and i doubt the bible and its myriad of translations - who is right? Perhaps on a personal level, i find it hard to let go of control, and give myself up to whatever any being has in store for me. I'd much rather trod my own path, thanks.

However, i found the dance competition, games and band amusing butthe short dramatisation touched a chord within me. I think their youth pastor is a super pro charismatic guy, but he was unable to shake my beliefs, which have thus undergone a trial and come out strong, to my joy :D The dramatisation was about warning signs which the loving God gives us when we are about to go down the wrong path.

1. Family
2. Conscience
3. Friends
4. God's Presence

While his emphasis was mainly on that of a loving God giving us warning signs to lead us on the right path, hence we should listen to him and give ourselves up to him (I'm using him because christianity is a patriarchical religion), i found meaning in the oftsaid but usually forgotten phrase "Life is short" and we should treasure numbers 1-3 mentioned on the list, and listen to our conscience when it whispers, so it will have a louder voice and stop you from doing stupid stuff immediately, instead of regretting it or feeling bad subsequently.

Despite the freezing cold air-con (never wear dressy-ish sandals when the weather looks bad -.-), i managed to find sources of amusement during times when i'm not supposed to be amused, but rather contemplative or prayer-ish (i can't think of the word i want at the moment). Well, turning off the house lights for privacy while asking newcomers, introduced there by friends, to raise their hands if they want to open their hearts to God, is a good move since people will feel more comfortable with anonymity. But asking them to step forth and move to the front so that he could pray for them, while requesting the lights be turned on, immediately after the first move, was rather contradictory! I was suppressing my amusement. Honestly -.- but it was another smart move, since you can't retract your commitment. This use of peer pressure certainly was quite effective. on others. I, for one, stick by my standards. Having been to quite a few christian youth day things, it's obvious that such events are ploys to attract more followers, even forcing them by asking people to fill in forms before allowing entry. Thankfully, being the suspicious person i am, i refuse to give personal particulars and they couldn't press for fear of seeming pushy with ulterior motives! xD Or maybe it's just my natural cynicism coming into play. For someone who is optimistic most of the time, i can be scarily suspicious of stuff which comes in handy at times...

Café Galilée ran out of mudpie... I'll just have to eat it tomorrow. LJS's chocolate cream pie is not bad, beats BK's sundae pie, but i think that's just because the sundae pie takes too long to melt and be eaten at the correct consistency.

I have decided not to be stupid or give in to spur of the moment desires brought about by that dastardly wickedly mischievous streak within me, which tends to manifest at the most inopportune moments, usually when the situation is best-suited to abandonment. This shall be accomplished via cooping myself up at home to study. Less computer time in the day too. Being online is hardly productive, as i've spent the last half hour reflecting and blogging this longgg post. And watching sun and rain dance on youtube xP highly amusing. Time to search for media lost and random funny videos! lol ^^"

My mom has been complaining about my skin -.- thanks alot vball and sun. Shan't wash face so soon after training... look super noob now :( what with all the white spots and pimples. this is such a girly rant. but wdv. and what's up with all the evil choreographers who differentiate male and female via super characteristic moves that are really annoying!! whatever happened to equality. If i had to dance, i'd rather do male moves. No matter what other people say, they are so much cooler please -.- hence the above decision: stay home and study. no sun. no pimples. no white spots. The smart move, yeahhh Xp

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success 1:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

How do you view success 2:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of 2:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

What are you most afraid of 1:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.


Quite true, minus one part which is actually contradictory. It's cool though. Try it :) i did it twice here



DRAW YOUR HOUSE!

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

looking for that missing something

Feeling weird now, today. and i realise this is probably one of the earliest times i've blogged, ever. i can't really describe it, something between melancholy, fatigue (probably due to training) and dissatisfaction with my life right now. perhaps this has something to do with that ichigo bliss being less than satisfying after what i've heard about it being so good and nice and wdv. but it's not what it's made out to be, seriously. i feel like i'm missing out on alot of things in life, perhaps what i'm missing is actually people, especially people i was close to. i hope this goes away when i finally get out of this comfortable chair to go and bathe and turn off the computer because i've not been productive at all! perhaps that has something to do with why i'm feeling this way. not really annoyed, but feeling like i've been wasting alot of time and you only live once. perhaps if you suscribe to reincarnation, the above statement won't apply. yet, memories of your past life will definitely elude you.

I think i prefer being a random blogger, to a contemplative one. definitely more lighthearted.

resolution: december shall be a stay-at-home-and-study-month

I'll keep to that. I will! and maybe then, i'll feel like i've achieved something.

You can speculate all you like about causation, but in the end, you never know if it's just something your mind has conjured up to explain away your emotions, and not the real problem. But we all have to move on. And make the best of what we think we have.

Perhaps the oreo-ice-blend-with-pudding sugar influx has worn out and i'm on a sugar low. Maybe it's because my spiking today was unmentionably horrendous. I stink.

Wash off the dirt, and perhaps i'll be clean again.

2 in a day

haha i can't help it! i must blog this :P i like chatting, esp about random stuff like potential truth or dare questions.

Question of the day: What do you look for in a guy/girl?

well the comments were interesting. and all this came about because of one random statement. hahahaa. i will remember these chats with fondness ^^ and amusement. chat logs ftw :) i miss my old chat logs :( which got lost when hard disk crashed. i hope they get recovered. i like looking at chatlogs when i need to refer to old bets and stuff :s hahaa off the comp! liverpool match at 0110! been blogging quite randomly and non-profoundly for awhile. not that i was ever deep but... some thoughts haven't made it out in text. this would be a good topic to write about but i'm not supposed to be on the comp anymore!! just dragging time because torrent speed for oth s2 is at 50kbps >< hahahaa. see what i mean. random.

okay update :)

FLEW SORTIE 21! the first official PPL sortie yesterdayy, the 17th of November 2006~ which was a

super busy day for me.

1. Flight
2. Piano
3. Vball Friendly against Australian International School

Well, what to say about the 21st sortie other than the fact that it was rather normal -- meaning, screw-ups abounded but i managed to fly solo and complete it. My instructor says that this is the stage for building confidence and precision comes in later, but well, i guess it's only normal to want consistency and perfection (or near-perfection) when you're trying hard for something... so hard that you zone out and think of flying when you're supposed to be recce-ing for class chalet at Sentosa! :S ok i'm evil but i didn't really feel that bad that i was stoning about flying ><> normal blood. bad :S jungle trail for night walk will seriously pwn x) all the best playerssssss!!!

ohh now to complain about pimples, which have been plaguing me for how long -_- my complexion used to be...passable, but now it's irredeemable!!!! THANKS alot my beloved sun. ><>Finally being nice and letting us play half the sets! being evil as usual. we only get to play 2 sets coz apparently their coach wants them to play all with ORA. what a nice coach. -.- ah wdv. w00t we need to get trashed to get better. imho. i always feel like working harder after getting trashed :S for awhile at least... but we need experience, which will help us improve.

lg fuad.
I'm riding hard on the last lines of every lie,
And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode,
I'm about to explode.
I'm a mess, I'm a wreck.
I am perfect, and I have learned to accept all my problems and short comings,
Cause I am so visceral, yet deeply inept.

random lyrics xD the song rocks. and i'm neither a mess nor a wreck >< i think. hahahahaaa

some luck

Well, i guess getting food poisoning was the means by which i managed to stay at home for one whole day. although, this wasn't the way i planned it. staying at home day is quite fun :) and i'm feeling better though. slept 10+ hours, what a happy piggy. hahaa

Slept alot and woke up at 12 to watch the match... Liverpool lost yesterday to Arsenal 3-0, talk about good timing. The moment i turned on the tv, arsenal scored one -.- what a blow on my already woozy mind so i watched on till halftime then returned to the comp to continue chatting... when i next got up to return to the tv, guess what happened again. Another arsenal goal. how predictable. life just wasn't going my way so i turned off the tv and went back to sleep before i got dealt another blow. But pool still rox and arsenal was just lucky. yeah obviously.

Got woken up at 0730 by jinrou calling and asking if i was going ubin. calling my house. -.- i'm sure i can get to tampines by 0730 if i'm still at home then. oh great, my hands are trembling while typing this. but at least 1-2 days of bread and water has removed some of the extra padding i had around my invisible abmuscles. feeling weak, and i hate that feeling... of inadequacy. haha sigh and m1 hates me, i'm quite sure of that. coz some people's smses only reach me hours later. Well i guess the lucky thing about not going ubin, is that the two people i wanted to be with didn't go too...school stuff and not feeling well. selfish i know, but everybody thinks like this sometimes?

Just planned tw dorm reunion outing on monday. catch up with 3 people i spend one whole month living with. :) w00t. i hope training is in the morning otherwise i'll just pon xD yayy wonder what we will be doing.

Looping Ashley Parker Angel's Along The Way. love that song.

Firefly, can I have a light?
It's so dark out here,
My shadow looked me in the eye,
like I was staring in the mirror.
Everything became so clear,
in the middle of nowhere.

I walk along the boulevard,
My feet don't touch the ground,
Scratch my name on concrete stars,
I'm never coming down.
Feels so good to disappear,
in the middle of nowhere.

Along the way,
That's where I'm supposed to be.
Along the way,
In the spaces in between.
I find my place in the middle of tomorrow and yesterday,
If you're going there, look for me along the way.

Taxi driver, can I hitch a ride?
Anywhere but home.
I'm looking for an alibi,
a reason to stay gone.
I can't hear the voices say "you're in the middle of nowhere"

Along the way,
That's where I'm supposed to be.
Along the way,
In the spaces in between.
I find my place in the middle of tomorrow and yesterday,
If you're going there, look for me along the way.

It's who I am, it's how you'll be,
It's where we run.
Letting go of everything is the hardest part when you start along the way.

Along the way,
That's where I'm supposed to be.
Along the way,
In the spaces in between.
I find my place in the middle of tomorrow and yesterday,
If you're going there, look for me along the way.

there was quite some stuff i wanted to write. my best friend thinks i need a best friend in class to take care of me -.- like i need taking care of. and it's impossible to just find a best friend. flight tmr i hope i can make it and don't faint on the plane.

Rainy season's here. i hope this doesn't delay the flying course schedule and end up clashing with A levels. that would be totally screwed up. like everything seems to be now.

Need to start studying soon. but i'm feeling like i can't do anything now. wooziness is striking and my hands are trembling even more. at least this day hasn't been as bad as it could have been, so far. So not in an optimistic mood i guess.

Was blogsurfing randomly. Reading about other people you don't know nuts about is quite interesting. I think we all have voyeuristic tendencies :x

A friend's blog says that the difference between "love-like" and "like being with you like" to quote directly, is the conviction. I agree, in the sense that we are too young to really commit to anything... okay fine, age is not the issue. but rather the belief that you are right for each other, can see yourselves growing old together. that's rather idealistic and traditional i guess. but as aforementioned, if you have no idea what you want, don't go looking for it. besides, it will come with time, and arrive au naturalement. committing yourself is a big deal and feeling trepidation is definitely normal. But when the time comes, and i finally find that someone in the future, will i have the courage to move? I envy people who dare to speak what they feel, dare to love and give, even though they know they may get rejected and hurt. "And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." a quote off another friend's blog, someone with courage :) i guess that's a good philosophy to have.

would like to claim that i need no one but that would be untrue. kudos to my family and all friends who've been there for me at one time or another :) sometimes you do need people to lean on, maybe you're looking for that one particular shoulder you can lean on forever, but in the meantime, family and good friends are the best thing to have at this age, imho. nothing else. x) but i know that if and when it comes, there will be nothing to stop it and nothing you will want to do to stop it. For now, i'll just enjoy the simplicity of life. and keep on smiling :)

NDP backstage tour and meet-the-cast

Straight to the point then.

I was quite high about this yesterday but today turned out to be disappointing because i couldn't summon the energy to be excited or give off happy vibes. Everyone else had a good time, and i guess i did as well - we got to go to the VIP holding room and enjoy, etc. Walked on the notre dame de paris stage, saw the wall (which is very cool) and met Wayne the art director of hte whole thing, as well as the really cool and gorgeous cast. I love Roddy Juliene's hair.

Anyway, the reason i didn't manage to get high and stuff was due to the simple reason: I AM SICK. i hate falling ill, especially when i didnt do anything to deserve it. like sick from food poisoning of all the stupid things to be sick from. -.- i am totally boycotting Pepper Lunch Express, the cause of my current misery. Last night, i didn't manage to sleep soundly at all due the awfulness of stomachaches and diarrheoa - sleep a few hours, dream some absurd crap, wake up due to pain, go toilet, go back to sleep... and the cycle goes on. At least i saw the only goal in the Man Utd match against Blackburn yesterday before i couldn't take the stomachpains anymore.

Symptoms: unbearable stomachaches, diarrheoa, feel like vomiting and feverish.

Talk about going to ubin tmr. -.- shall go sleep it off and hope i'm better tomorrow. Flight on tuesday! i can't compromise that... priorities priorities. well at least i've an mc to cover tmr's training -.-"

life is fleeting and we should treasure every moment.

that's something that has been going through my mind alot recently. like a chain of events. first was typing a condolence sms, in which i used it. next, watched step up today - some dance movie in which a character died super suddenly, and again it hit me. then, was chatting and the topic somehow came up.

yet how do you know you are really making the most of time?

Been feeling kinda sian for the past 2-3 days. I'm using 'sian' for lack of a better word, though could probably describe it in many words such as slight annoyance, irritation, depression, cluelessness, fatigue, etc... the list goes on... Well, not the whole day but at certain times, it just sets in is too mild strikes and i end up being unproductive for quite awhile trying to get back on track. At least, i've just had a mild epiphany, as i was walking to throw away the chocolate pudding cup, and figured out what was causing this feeling i so detest. Usually, people are sian during the hols because they have nothing to do, well, with me (and probably other people out there) it's the exact opposite! I'm feeling sian simply because there is a fair bit of work to do, especially project work oral presentation, and i think that once the evil op is over, this feeling will disappear. Hence, anticipation...anxiety...dilemma. I want it to be over, but guess i'm also rather scared that i won't be able to perform thus the wish that op day won't arrive. I'm feeling sian because, it's the hols yet there is lots to be done that will make a significant impact on jc results... so why do we call it the school holidays when most people have to return to school almost everyday for one reason or another? This seems like a preview of working life. i really don't want to grow up and get bogged down by young adult problems such as money, relationships, etc. i just want the simple life, friends who stand by me, good music which lifts my spirits, and well i guess you could say i don't want things to become so complicated there will come a time i really don't know where to go or what to do... control freak? maybe. there's always a choice, but how do you know what to choose? i already have trouble deciding what to eat. does that say alot about me as a person? this is an uber long chunk of text that is rather incoherent and which i don't feel like paragraphing. growing up is part of living but i hope i'll stay young at heart (: i can't find a suitable smiley, so imagine one with a smaller smile hahaa

smiling at the world :)

Today, i was the perfect epitome of what the Singapore Government has been trying to instill into the Singaporean culture and lifestyle through GEMS and the Four Million Smiles Campaign - stuff which i only know about thanks to project work and making plans on how to develop a gracious society :) As a volunteer for OSIM Corporate Triathlon 4 Nov 2006, i was assigned the role of bike marshall - which was not what we originally asked for, but i experienced great job satisfaction today and that makes me feel good, something that i haven't really felt while doing cip, in a longg time.

Despite the sun, flies and lack of seats; Despite the backaches from holding a similar posture for so long, tired legs from standing up for a few hours without rest and weak arms from pointing the red flag to direct participants on the right path (holding the flag was actually quite fun); Despite the intensified brownness of skin; the smiles, thanks, thumbs-ups, winks (hahaa ;P) , grins and random comments thrown my way by the cyclists while they passed by made it worthwhile xD [super long sentence over, yay.] I actually found things that were amusing as they passed and this enabled me to hold onto a grin or a smile throughout most of the time, until the end where they had 5 minutes breaks between each cyclist -_- I guess i decided from the moment the first cyclist smiled at me and i smiled back that it would be a good way to pass time by smiling at them to encourage them as they pedaled past :) Then, i decided i liked the responses -- smiling at others makes both you and the other person happier :) Hence i continued grinning at people who turned to look at me as they cycled past with good results Xp

On a side note, the scenery at my spot (beach1 apparently) was brilliant! Beautiful blue sea, with the music of waves crashing on the rocks (stonebar 23 :P), interspersed with the rumbling growl of jet planes flying overhead on their way to land at Changi, not forgetting the smell and feel of fresh sea breeze... It was quite the ideal spot to stone the day away, if not for my job... i think i'll visit that place again during the holidays to relax, maybe if we had a class outing to ECP my stone-alone-time will materialise if i bike fast enough :D I can just imagine someone on that stonebar( i have no idea what it's really called :x) serenading the sea on a guitar... Would have been content to waste the time away there~

Watched the Covenant yesterday after my first flight in a month! Flight was not bad, considering i was geared up in new things - flightsuit, squeaky boots (which gave me a blister on my right heel -.-) and cool black leather/cloth gloves! The Covenant was an okay movie, but i do not recommend it to anyone...typical teen show which requires a whole lot of suspension of disbelief but the action-packed parts and effects were quite good, except some parts of the plot which were essentially the most interesting parts should have been further developed, e.g. the spider imps, the darkling and the details of Ascension, instead of putting the focus on the relationship between Covenant leader and his newfound blonde girl. There were also some scenes evidently inserted to cater to what the film's producer and director believed teenage guys and girls would be attracted to, namely:

1. Shower scene starring female lead semi-naked [for guys]
2. Half-dressed female leads in their dorm room [for guys]
   
3. Male shower/locker room [for girls]
   
4. Swim sequence starring male leads in swimming trunks (but i must admit they do have hot bods xD ) [for girls]
5. Guy-kiss-guy scene [for yaoi and incest fangirls -.-]

Hence, since development of the story was not very well done...not a movie to recommend.

Have been going out for alot of class outings despite once deciding not to go for anymore! >< Such lousy willpower/memory i have... and it's burnt a hole in my pocket. i shall refrain from going out although it's the hols... :X that's such a lie

Realisation of the day: I like smiling at people :) haha!

Kick this 'habit'

I realised that this year, I've not really looked forward to going home at all relatively! as compared to previous years. Thus, the conclusion that i ought to get rid of this unsavoury trend... home is the best place to be :)

Movies to watch:
The Prestige
The Black Dahlia (depends on actor ability:P )
Scoop
World Trade Centre out of cinema! :(
Le Tigre et La Neige
Indigènes

If i have extra $$... highly unlikely tho :(
Material Girls
A Good Year
School for Scoundrels

On a side note, need to regain my french skills! Random fact: groundschoolinstructorpreetwant used to take french as a third lang oO

try not to talk if there's nothing to say ;)