scanzz

been busy scanning stuff for rush scholarship applications! i think i have to complete it by today since i'll only be back in singapore on friday and it closes on saturday.. oh gg-ed. especially since my cca record is kinda screwed.. maybe shouldn't have gone out so much :P but it was worth it! and i'm very sure i'll be fine, just sleep less tonight although we're gonna set off at 5am tomorrow morning.. i haven't woken up that early since primary school when had to take school bus from bedok all the way to bukit timah area!! how insanee. going out soon! VIVO which will probably be super noisy and crowded and annoying.. bleah. lol. anyway i guess this is the most i've used my scanner since we brought it home! and there was something i wanted to write but i've kinda forgotten. hahaa maybe later.

WMP is playing Daniel Bedingfield now.. a really sappy song that i like :S and haven't heard in a long time because i've not had the mood to listen to it! not that i've the mood now but erm, it's halfway done and i kinda want the play counts to increase although there are ways of cheating wmp! :P hmm blog more later

only 24 hours after

i was bored until i realised wow. there's quite a lot to be done today! and i guess the laziness stemmed in part from the prospect of having to clear my room..

the mandatory list of things to do after A levels:

1. clean and pack room
2. surf for university and scholarship stuff
3. settle applications
4. read books! on many things! go library!
5. learn driving :D
6. catch up on all the shows that i've been neglecting
7. decide what kind of job to find and find it...otherwise earn money somehow
8. hope i get a scholarship that sends me overseas
9. learn kayaking? (dunno)
10. go lan, pool, kbox, iceskating, shopping
11. catch up with people
12. play! vball, bball, squash, oh squash, whatever.
13. study! something because otherwise it'd be really weird to have nothing to study besides one miserable driving book! hahaa ok maybe not study but learn new stuff
14. LEARN new stuff, join classes for i don't know what!
15. join facebook?
16. tbc (:

something like the end

alright so A levels are over. doesn't seem like a really big deal but i have no idea why! i guess life's just weird that way, you look forward to something for so long and when it finally arrives, it's never what you expected it to be or what you expected to feel! maybe i'm just tired and the "liberation" from jc life will hit me somewhen soon.. or maybe it's just means that there are other things to do now that are equally omgwthbbq

Overall? A levels were.. exams. i have no idea how i did except that math should be fine and this kind of gets irritating because last time i could sort of gauge how i would do in any sort of exam, maybe i've lowered my bar! can't even do one pull up, maybe not even a push up!

ecp class outing today was quite fun for the experience of cycling in the rain! it was quite hilarious actually. and finally got to exercise which is yay-ness. but i've got sore feet from ddr, sore butt from cycling and tired legs.. and increasing "whininess feeling" if that even exists! not to mention i'm super scared of falling sick! my ddr is how n00b! and i've never played that version before oh and time crisis deproved as well.. i guess we were supposed to go lanning but too tired after hopping and accidentally stomping and stubbing toes against the metal screws on the ddr machine which explains why the feet feel horribly painful and sore. i mean, whose feet has that much fat to minimize the abrasions?!

i guess finding out your "limitations" just shows you how much more you need to improve, in every aspect! as a person, workwise, etc. but i'm too tired to think! need to pack my room so i won't have to do it tomorrow which i need to do application stuff! yay the future beckons..

oh last night i had difficulty falling asleep and had a super weird dream which resulted in me waking up in the middle of the night and feeling super wth!? which was highly annoying because my brain refused to start moving in the morning! i could feel the cogs literally stalling.. yucks. no wonder A levels don't feel happy! i wish i could say i'm looking forward to march but i'm not. lol. this could be fatigue speaking i feel like slacking and watching tv instead now.. yawn! :O

we'll do it all, everything, on our own.

we don't need, anything, or anyone.

my feelings exactly! or rather what i hope i can be: self-sufficient (: which is probably not in keeping with the actual meaning of the song? but whatever.

there will be no more H2 economics for j2s! hurray (: but now the decision will be whether or not to take it in university.. i think there's potential for growth in knowledge and economics interest that i have to cultivate so it won't be a pure mugging of notes kind of study, and then, can be a real economics pro!

i don't want to harp on case study today, which i think i screwed up after hearing what everyone was talking about and feeling how what?! why?! har?! yeah, not the typical who what where when why how because i have something to fuel my angstnergy even more! Being the playful kiddie that i am, i went to erm, stone/play soccer.. more camping than playing.. which didn't really help because i managed to sprain/twist my ankle while i was in non-camping, non-stoning mood! it's how painful now! =(

my ankles are weak, i think it may be because i'm too heavy for them and i haven't worked at strengthening them? but anyway i think it's more a muscle pull and slight twist than actual sprain since i could manage to walk out from school, stand on the mrt, walk to eat dinner, walk to ntuc to grocery shop and walk home carrying the stuff before the pain became really omgwthbbq! and now i'm feeling arghhhh. no moving.. but no! this could be fate's ploy to make me do awful at the coming paper ones which i won't allow to happen despite the distracting throb!!

injuries are the bane of my existence = i don't like sports that get me injured = i don't like soccer = i don't like all sports? which is false! so i conclude that i just detest getting injured which makes me not like the sport that caused it for a short while, until i recover or get better. if not, i would totally hate basketball, squash and volleyball! oh, and climbing stairs. which i don't. XD

alright to mug and work! two more papers to go. yayyerz (:

angstnergy

yeah so econs essay paper was today.. and no prizes for, even cluelessly, stumbling across the conclusion that it was a total disaster! like resonance-amplified vibrations shaking the foundations of my econs A levels aims?? so now i'm left with the hope of tomorrow's case study.. except that mugging now is not productive! maybe i should watch some tv first before i start.. or maybe i should resort to tried-and-tested nestle mocha?

was super angsty after the paper.. and i was quite horrible, but it's too late to apologize~ too lateeee! Timbaland r0x. anyway. i'm still sorry: ants that i stepped on in my angst :S it rhymes? i have marginal poetic talent? i think. (=

shall stop being random.

i have the same feeling as i do when i go for chalets or overnight camps and don't sleep! but the point is, i did sleep last night! a total of 4 hours to be exact? rather, to 1 s.f. hahaa

everyone feels like after tomorrow's paper, the worst will be over! and that's quite true because we'll only have 2 mcq papers left.. but i think those two papers can make or break your A.. :S Hence the dilemma i'm facing now is whether or not to take a minor break after econs tomorrow and exercise! cost-benefit analysis may work, but i have imperfect information. so assuming i'm the government, and i'm trying to correct for market failure in the form of externalities, firstly i have to determine whether the good is a merit or demerit good! let's assume that exercise is a merit good, with positive externalities to my individual system. then again, it can be argued that it brings about negative externalities to the system as well! because, it detracts from the time, or even if not time, the energy that i could have spent more pragmatically doing chemistry mcq!

tough one. but first, to the mattresses! (i.e. to war, i think, from the Godfather :O and i learnt it from You Got Mail, if i'm not wrong.. =D )

what.

i conclude that coffee doesn't work when i'm really tired or maybe i bought the wrong brand. whatever. it just makes my head feel light and giddy, and makes me feel as though i'm going to trip and fall over something even when there's nothing ahead in my path! it almost happened twice just now like i felt like i was going to fall over! whee~ and i'm the kind of person that gets angsty, annoyed and loud easily when i'm tired!! i think i better go take a 15 minute nap.

screwed up physics i think.. need to get full marks for paper 1! and i have 3 days? in which to do that! and chem also. nyahahahaa~ ok that was weird. anyway. should be no playing until after physics. conclusion. (:

oh and don't drink pokka mocha! it rhymes! LOL. it doesn't help. maybe it's the type of coffee?! WHATTT!! LOL. this implies.
byee.

i just had to blog the weird dream i had last night or this morning, wdv-you-wanna-call-it since by the time i fell asleep it was 230am! then i couldn't wake up at 9 so i slept till 10.. such good self-discipline i have :x

anyway on to the main topic: the dream!

It was most likely set after A levels, and somehow i ended up playing volleyball with a group of j1s (random people i don't have to know and i doubt are vballers) and some j2s who didn't know how to play.. so it was up to me or that was something i was feeling.. then when the ball came i missed it! the details are not so important, i think it was either i couldn't get to the ball or i tripped and still couldn't get to the ball or it was in front of me and i missed it. something. either way i missed it! how embarassing.. so i guess this is subcoucious desire that A levels are over and subconscious fear that i'd be so fit and lousy at sports!

but scene changed and now i was playing rugby?! of all sports.. something i like to watch but don't like to play.. but the assistant coach was saying i had "potential" lol?! and i think at that moment my dream-self thought, "potential so what?" but that's another story for another time. and i wasn't really enthu about being pulled to join a rugby team! but as we were playing, there a group of international people that had come into our school to play captain's ball against some people i know! and i have no idea why the dream-school is so small we had to squeeze on the same place in front of the watermelon steps, but there you go.

anyway somehow i ended up in the toilet and omg. lol. BIG subconscious fears 2 and 3 appeared! i'd gotten super fat and muscly, the muscly fat kind and my face was so broad and fat and urghhh. the fats were pinchable and foldable! you know the kind of chubbiness that babies have? or that funny foldy-skin dog.. i blame this on my mom telling me that as a baby, i was super chubby and had that kind of foldy-plumpness.. :S AND i was RED like redfaced intense red kind of blushing kind! which i don't get! HOW SCARY la! i'm super glad i can't blush! :S how embarassing if people know you're embarassed by your physical reactions!

anyway that woke me up. and we gotta chiong for the rest of the non-math papers! no more math! talk about that another time (:

self-induced angst

it's the beginning of the second week of A levels! i feel horrible now!

especially since i have a headache and i refuse to let myself go take a nap until 6pm.. why? because i need to train my brain and body for the upcoming ordeal that is chem paper 2 and econs paper 1 on tuesday.. i hope it works or i'll have even more reason to angst.. amd no, it's not ludicrous! it's a good workout. except that i'll have to admit that my brain doesn't work very well when it's tired:

evidence 1: i walked to the kitchen to pour a bottle of water to bring to the room, and when i finished pouring, i walked back to the room without taking the cap! and it took me all of 5 seconds to figure out what i was doing in the kitchen in the first place..

evidence 2: i tried to do math specimen paper 2 and got the whole thing wrong because i didn't read stuff properly! i think i really need to get the required 7 hours of sleep everyday :S

evidence 3: i'm resorting to coffee to keep myself awake! and i had a weird craving for Schweppes Tonic Water, which i satisfied but it was quite weird tasting and i was supposed to search what quinine means but i still haven't done so since i stepped into the house until now.. ok pause, i'll go and search.

Quinine (IPA: /ˈkwaɪnaɪn, kwɪˈniːn, ˈkwiːniːn/) is a natural white crystalline alkaloid having antipyretic (fever-reducing), anti-smallpox, analgesic (painkilling), and anti-inflammatory properties and a bitter taste. It is a stereoisomer of quinidine.

Quinine was the first effective treatment for malaria caused by P falciparum, appearing in therapeutics in the 17th century. It remained the antimalarial drug of choice until the 1940s, when other drugs took over. Since then, many effective antimalarials have been introduced, although quinine is still used to treat the disease in certain critical situations. Quinine is available with a prescription in the United States. Quinine is also used to treat nocturnal leg cramps and arthritis, and there have been attempts (with limited success) to treat prion diseases. It was once a popular heroin adulterant.

- wiki!

yay so i did make a good choice (: anyway coffee.. the can is sitting unopened on my desk.. bleargh to do it or not!?!?!?!! angst angst

i realised that all angst is self-induced! lol! if we didn't care so much, no one would be angsty at all.. :P antipathy or oversensitivity! choose.