earliest yet :)

Woke up at 8.30 despite setting the alarm at 10.30. RAHHH. then i couldn't fall asleep again...not that i was really trying because it's bad to go back to sleep when you've awoken with a clear mind. Hence, lazed around on the bed stoning.

Contemplated what I would be like as an OGL -- stupid screwed up Oteam is taking my bestfriend away :( and realised i would probably be quite an okay OGL, minus the commitment which is one of the most important things. I mean, how can you stand doing something you're not even 20% committed to doing! My personal minimum should be an estimation of about 50% before i'll even start doing that thing... (honestly, that's super low already) i haven't really given 100% unless at the very moment of doing that thing... so i'm glad i didn't sign up to be one! Maybe it's time to put in >100% in everything i do, but that would leave me so tired or accomplished? This is probably just a mindset, a psychological thing i have to overcome! Go somewhere quiet and peaceful soon and sort this out. i should... But how many times have i ever done things i should?

Have no idea why i came online this early but i'm glad i did! ^^ somehow, cg was online and we chatted abit. haven't heard from/seen her in what feels like a long time but was actually a few days - guess i got used to having people around all the time and now they aren't, it feels kinda weird. and i guess i miss alot of things and people - alot of whom will be flying away soon. Wanted to organise a spontaneous stayover but everyone's too busy, unless can stop planes, bash up council, etc... Now i'm hoping it will rain today even though the sky looks too nice and blue to be true :( If flight gets cancelled once more because of the weather, I will accompany the rain in its miserable clamour and expunge saltwater from my system :[ and this time, there won't be a funny friend to tell me amusing stories and conjecture about random stuff with... maybe i'll make new friends lol -.- self-consolation but true.

We never had a dorm outing and now i'm thinking of rg friends and wondering where they are, in that big wide world out there. i have super good timing i think. like yesterday, was trying to call yh to ask if she was free for stayover and apparently i called just when they came back from the airport from cambodia! but she's flying off again on tuesday... shall call her today. i think she's the only person i've really had a longgg talk over the phone with <33 her despite her quirks. fine i <33 all my close girlfriends. At least, i'm going out with clar and ame on tues! :) after howww long. my closestfriends in sec2, who i hung out with all the time, and sorta lost track of ame along the way :( i think i'm a lousy friend like that. initiative's the word of the hols! shan't let laziness triumph... w.r.t. work too :P *snigger*

Re-found a nice song and have it on loop-ish. i think i came on the comp to hear it. i should just get an ipod and not wait for the next gen >< dilemma dilemma

If You're Gone
Matchbox 20

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

Spent quite long finding it >< should have known plan would have it. arrr. it was worth the search anyway :)