Been feeling kinda sian for the past 2-3 days. I'm using 'sian' for lack of a better word, though could probably describe it in many words such as slight annoyance, irritation, depression, cluelessness, fatigue, etc... the list goes on... Well, not the whole day but at certain times, it just sets in is too mild strikes and i end up being unproductive for quite awhile trying to get back on track. At least, i've just had a mild epiphany, as i was walking to throw away the chocolate pudding cup, and figured out what was causing this feeling i so detest. Usually, people are sian during the hols because they have nothing to do, well, with me (and probably other people out there) it's the exact opposite! I'm feeling sian simply because there is a fair bit of work to do, especially project work oral presentation, and i think that once the evil op is over, this feeling will disappear. Hence, anticipation...anxiety...dilemma. I want it to be over, but guess i'm also rather scared that i won't be able to perform thus the wish that op day won't arrive. I'm feeling sian because, it's the hols yet there is lots to be done that will make a significant impact on jc results... so why do we call it the school holidays when most people have to return to school almost everyday for one reason or another? This seems like a preview of working life. i really don't want to grow up and get bogged down by young adult problems such as money, relationships, etc. i just want the simple life, friends who stand by me, good music which lifts my spirits, and well i guess you could say i don't want things to become so complicated there will come a time i really don't know where to go or what to do... control freak? maybe. there's always a choice, but how do you know what to choose? i already have trouble deciding what to eat. does that say alot about me as a person? this is an uber long chunk of text that is rather incoherent and which i don't feel like paragraphing. growing up is part of living but i hope i'll stay young at heart (: i can't find a suitable smiley, so imagine one with a smaller smile hahaa