it's been awhile

i finally ate botak jones burger today! it was nice but the spicy fries were yummiest (: the day before, i had how's salad.. omg, it was super super super huge! i couldn't finish it, it was a 10-inch plate mountain of lettuce, onions etc.

what are we without dreams and ideals? mere mechatrons and cogs that enable the system to crunch along? what if this cog refuses to be a mere cog, what if this cog wants to change its position so that the system will improve. nothing is perfect, that's why we need improvements.. that's what i felt just now, when i was being lectured about working habits and life habits. systems really can do with some improving! even if it's the smallest improvement that would not jam up the big picture, even the tiniest amelioration would be good. perhaps, that's just young, idealistic me. don't talk to me when i become old, jaded and cynical: i probably won't even be bothered to talk to you! just pinch me.

truthfully, my current workplace would be ideal if not for the supervisor! ok i admit that my attitude has been getting from bad to worse. i shall attempt to improve slightly, and i need a new job! this is getting quite stale. perhaps, my colleagues have influenced my mindset slightly though.. i have resolved not to use any hokkien, or singlish in my conversations except the harmless "la, leh, meh". no swear words or slightly vulgar words! i think my mom was right in that, i don't need to use the language to fit in with the people. ECK iit! was lost for awhile, i just need to be true to myself.

actually, perhaps i can mark the turning point of my attitude when i got scolded by one cheena woman! she asked me if it was my first day at work.. and come to think of it, getting cheesed off by such a minor setback is totally not me! i didn't even identify this as the root of the problem. when i initially joined, i think i was exuberant that i would actually be helping people! but i wasn't really prepared to be ticked off or complained at or the like..after that i tried to sound OLDER = sound more sian/jaded.. and i guess i sort of fell into the persona, which is not good! time for a total rearrangement!

i have ideas. but i don't know any platforms by which to express them.
- video guide
- provide schedule skeleton, and allow people to sign up for their desired slots. is that so hard??

been meeting up with people though (: it was fun today! hahaa and i like combined assessments or tests, because you get to have mini "reunions" before or after them! like at the dsta 2nd round, i was talking to a random RJ acquaintance and today at psc psychometric, i met old friends and was reacquainted with old acquaintances! haha quite amusing. i'm glad i'm a more extraverted person now than before.. it has proven to be interesting (:

yay the highlight of my day tomorrow will be training and yami yogurt. i ate 1/3 a 1.5L tub of cookies and cream icecream today, along with botak jones, several dishes for lunch, orange-carrot juice and a jelly, plus vegetarian beehoon for breakfast!! too much food.. dead. i'm seriously going to get fat! rawr..

i should probably practice piano more. got lesson at 8 on sat again. i feel really excited by it. really. LOL. the cereal monster's back! despite several setbacks including firefly rejection, which means i need to improve on my interview and preparation skills!! plus, my maths has DIED. pyschometric was quite draining.. i need to improve, give me mensa to do! and maths. i need maths. please? haha!

i'm tired. there's champions league today, but i don't think i should watch it! liverpool.. maybe i'll watch 2nd half. yup. alright i'm supposed to get off the comp at 11. died-ed.