RE-Vive!

so. it's been almost a year. exactly 10 months, 13 days since i've last visited this blog XD haha! just realised Revive is like Re- "vive", which means "live or life" in quite a few languages. haha! random fact.

So why? well... coz i've broken my long no-blog-surfing-rule, due to boredom and coz i feel like my command of the english language has dropped. Alot. jk!

Have alot of things to say... but i can't really express them. I don't want to let them out. I can't seem to feel the passion anymore. These days, i'm kind of wondering what drives me? Sometimes, i feel like i'm wearing a mask. Sure, i'm kind of happy... i can laugh, smile and joke around. But i can't help but feel like i don't belong. i'm just empty space, floating in a jello-like medium, trying to move but i can't make it... haha cmi! knew abbrv learnt :

On a (somehow) related note: Someone commented that i have mpd (multiple personality disorder)...

"Multiple personality disorder (MPD) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by having at least one "alter" personality that controls behavior. The "alters" are said to occur spontaneously and involuntarily, and function more or less independently of each other. The unity of consciousness, by which we identify our selves, is said to be absent in MPD. Another symptom of MPD is significant amnesia which can't be explained by ordinary forgetfulness."

found out that it is now labelled as dissociative identity disorder (did, as in did i do it?! lol ;P)

"A dissociative disorder in which two or more distinct conscious personalities alternately prevail in the same person, without any personality being aware of the other; typically a dubious diagnosis. "

My personal opinion is that everyone is rather...contrary at times, i.e. we show different facets of ourselves to different people we know. Do you think it's ever possible to know someone entirely? To know them inside out such that you are able to predict their every move? I think not... even if you have lived with them for years...even if you think you know all about your loved one...i doubt it's possible. Similarly, i question the existence of soulmates. Even if they exist, how do you know where they are or that they belong to you? Yet we can't really doubt that kindred spirits exist(people you just click with)... Is this a result of living in the same habitat for so long that everyone's mannerisms, habits, etc. become so alike?

lol. weirdness... just thinking about a topic transports me into a totally different dimension. anyways. DID. But first i shall reflect on my transition into JC, my OG, my class, etc. Guess i'm totally out of it today. my thoughts seem not to link but forget it, it's my blog anyways :P

Transition in JC was... weird, esp since i was in a single sex school for 10 years... haha, seeing people reuniting with old classmates makes me kind of jealous :\ and well, what's there to lamet? haha i'll just never send my kids to single sex primary schools ( if i have children...it's so far away) Yeah, and interacting with guys was weird at first... haha, they were like an alien species until i managed to convince myself that guys are just like girls but they need to attempt to think and act like they are manly besides the physiological differences. XD Orientation and O2 were ok? hehe i shant elaborate.

Anyways... on the topic of classes, i miss 413 loads ><><)! Anyways, i still miss 413 -- But it's not so bad... you're only the best i ever had... [Vertical Horizon: Best I ever Had] how paradoxical is that? It's not like i dislike my class...i think i'd be quite sad if i had to leave it ( and i probably will because of the timetable and syfc :[ ) haha but won't anyone love their class more if they had people they could just click with like *snap*? Perhaps my memory is failing me (DID!) maybe 413 took longer to click than i remember, maybe it's just that the 2 years together as a class were so memorable and fun only for me... [tbc...coz mommy is calling. hee XP)

[lalala~ i shall continue this at a later date? maybe one year later... kidding :P but it's a possibility! hahaha]