the thrill of skidding in control*

Friday, January 26, 2007

Sat is a sad SAT day

...i'm tired. and i don't know why.

okay, scrap that, i'm probably just running out of energy after surviving on approximately 3 hours of sleep last night. i reacknowledge the fact that i blog largely about daily life, and not so much about deep stuff, but it doesn't really matter does it. i can do whatever i want here. it's mine. we shan't go into intellectual copyrights, unlimited audience/readership, or such side effects of the proliferation of the internet in today's society. it just doesn't seem appropriate in this mood.

it's raining. the only reason i like rain is because it helps you sleep well, especially in tropical climate like Singapore's. that was probably grammatically incorrect and i'd fail SAT essay in a jiffy. whee. just great, i'm in that type of mood now - the kind of ineffectual, cynical, indolent ambivalence coupled with fatigue.

last day of vball trials. i know i shouldn't be glad that turnout was poor compared to wednesday, however, leaving early is such a greater incentive than having more juniors. i bet i'd make a lousy senior. that's probably just the fatigue talking now, and i shouldn't listen to songs like Evidemment at this point in time. vball = fun. generally.

i'm not emo. seriously. i'm just tired again. and i feel bad for the way people treat each other. it's like you think you know someone, but they prove you wrong time and again. i guess we should always give each other the benefit of the doubt, or rather, we should just doubt and be suspicious all the time so that when the seemingly unexpected occurs, you'd have preempted the situation. "Evaluate the extent to which paranoia should be an inherent part of the human psychology." maybe suspicious and paranoia are too strong words to use. or not.

Preconceived notions never match reality. Ambiguity always brings someone down, yes, you can think about this in the context of SAT improving sentences questions. Yet, would you want to know the truth? Would the transcient clarity be worth the implications, the consequences of veracity? Knowledge is power, ignorance is bliss, hence power does not bring about happiness. Make sense? or dollars. Motivation? or motives.

Relationships are funny things. friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues, classmates, teachers, figures with power over you, etc. You never know when they change, warp or distort into something unrecognisable. I shall stop here because this has been less therapeutic than i thought it would be.

assiduous student takes sat tomorrow. oh wait, scrap the first word of the sentence. and replace it with asinine. one mark up. add corpulent too. they are, doubtless, the words of the day.

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